Turning the vibrational tide

I am focusing on turning vibration tide in my life..

This photo my living room and my view of the ocean is why I live here. On days I don’t feel well or I am a little down I still have an ocean outside my living room window and a beach to walk on outside my back door💙🦋

The pain in my jaw wasn’t bad yesterday. It was the pain in my Temple muscle that was really on fire yesterday. They said it’s TMJ related. The muscle was in a spasm. OUCH! I tried everything I knew to get it to relax. I massaged it. I used Magnesium Oil on it. I put ice on it. I put heat on it and it continued throbbing until 10pm last night when I finally broke down and took a low dose muscle relaxer which definitely helped. I was able to sleep about an hour after taking it. While it was a good rescue medicine for me last night, muscle relaxers aren’t anything I need to be taking on any regular basis. I definitely noticed grogginess today. I googled the half life on the med; it’s 18 hours. That’s a long time. That means that drug will be at it’s full strength in my body until until 5pm tonight even though I took it at 11pm last night. That means it’s only an alternative for me when I do not have work the next day or need to drive my car. Perhaps they hit me a little harder because I am pretty clean when it comes to drugs. I don’t take many. The nice thing about it is that I am not in raging pain. The bad thing is that I am still a little off and it’s 1pm in the afternoon. I hope the pain doesn’t come back once the drug wears off completely. It’s been a nice break. It’s still sore; it just isn’t throbbing. It’s almost like when a migraine finally breaks a bit but isn’t all the way gone yet.

I still went out and walked 2 miles in the beautiful sunshine today. I enjoyed moving and thought moving would help lift my spirits and detox my body of anything stuck in my body including energy. I am not good at sitting around. I am active person. I like to move. I also need to raise my vibration. I feel like I’ve been stuck in some low vibrational energy since I started being sick and I needed to move to raise it. I have been seeing 11, 111, 1111 and 11:11 everywhere for weeks throughout this whole thing which makes me believe it’s all going to be ok 😊🦋👍 1s are also my sign. When I need a sign, I ask for 1s as a yes. It always makes me happy to get them. I also make a wish every time I see 11:11🙏🦋

While I understand this is all temporary until I get the TMJ under control and get a treatment plan, I do get worried that it is going on for so long. I get worried that it will not go away. I know that is irrational but it’s been a long time.

As a single person who lives alone, it can be hard to manage my thoughts and keep myself up. Other than writing these journal entries on my blog to document this process and this time of my life, I am not really advertising on social media or calling folks to tell them what is going on with me. The people I am closest to know and have been staying in touch. A couple of coworkers know and have been texting me. The staff in my building all know and have been offering to go shopping for me and do stuff for me. It’s hard having all of my family 70 miles away and living alone down here on the beach. It would be nice to have someone here to talk to when my mind is going crazy or a short drive to see my Mom or Sisters. I could use some TLC. I hesitate to reach out to folks. Never sure if I am bothering someone.

Other thoughts about relationships…Given this nonsense my body has been doing, I should have become a nurse or nabbed myself a doctor as a husband or maybe a shrink 😂 While I am joking when I say that, it does make me wonder if any man would want to date a woman with so many issues. I don’t drink but I also do not mind if others do. I just choose not to do it myself. I eat a restrictive diet. And, my body seems to freak out every once in a while. I felt good for three years with only minor illnesses that were easy to manage. I felt great a long time. 2017 has been rough but I did feel great the entire summer and well into October. I wonder if I will be alone for forever? Well, that and I am still hung up on the man with the beautiful blue eyes, Bluelove 💙 While part of me thinks I should be moving on, getting over him and opening myself up to other men, I am not really datable right now😂 I am not even sure if he would want to deal with all of stuff with me even if he did chose to make a big change in his life. I decided my connection to Bluelove isn’t something I need to over-analyze or disconnect from right now. There are other things I need to take care of first in my life. My body comes first. Then I have to figure out how to reengage in work if I don’t get the temporary assignment. I hope Bluelove is still in my life. I do genuinely love him and miss him💙

One of positives of this flare up is I certainly will not be gaining any holiday weight this year😂 I’ll probably even lose a few more pounds as I am eating light so my body doesn’t have to work hard at digestion to give it space to heal. Another is it made me fall in love with my apartment, the location and the view all over again. I am very comfortable and safe here – and help is always downstairs (a phone call) if I need it. Another positive, it gave me an opportunity to relook at my diet and focus on getting most of my nutrition through food rather than supplements which is better for my body and liver. The most important positive thing that came out of this is I finally have a correct diagnosis. It’s TMJ. We do not know the cause of the TMJ yet. I don’t grind my teeth. The Dentist says I have beautiful teeth. I am pretty sure I clench but the Dentist at Penn seemed to think there was a structural issue. Like maybe the Massetter muscle on the left was over developed or my jaw is misaligned. Both can be fixed. He just needs the MRI to be sure. I go for MRI on Friday and I see him again on 12/7. In meantime, I was told ice a few times a day, soft foods, anti-inflammatory diet(should help all of my joints), pain meds and muscle relaxers as needed. I told him I bought a nightguard at CVS. He told me to wear it a few nights and see if it helps. If it does, wear it. I can’t get a good read on it. One night it helps; then next it didn’t.

Day 15 and no period. Don’t even look at me funny or you will regret it 😂😂😂 Just joking…I do not believe I am in Menopause but I did as my GP suggested. I made a GYN appointment to get my hormones checked. It’s next week. If the period comes before that, I will cancel it. I think my body has been stressed out and in pain. I think that interrupted my cycle. Believe me a period would be appreciated to end some of the hormonal madness. Yep, a period would definitely help the cause🙏🙏🦋💙👍

The photos below are my little tree which has Angel Sandy at the top. I’ve had it for 15 years. It has the words Believe, Hope, Love, Joy, Peace and Faith on it. Most of ornaments are handmade. They were made by my sister Sandy(RIP), my friend “little” Michelle (RIP) and the artist Jonathan Baker. http://jonbakerart.com

My frog ornament was made my friend “little” Michelle. Michelle past away in 2007 after living with and fighting Crohn’s disease a long time. She made the Frog ornamenet for me because she said I kissed a lot of frogs but one day my prince would come 😂😂😂😂😂🐸

(C) 2017 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved 😂😂

Life is best when lived passionately

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