Givers And Takers

Givers And Takers
By: Linda A. Long

I like to lose myself
Forget
Escape
Numb myself
To the suffering
That surrounds me
I don’t want to feel your emotions
I don’t want to see
The tear fall down your cheek
As you pass by me
I don’t want to feel
The heaviness
Of your sigh
As you stand next to me
I don’t want to notice
Your shoulders are hanging low
I just don’t want to see it
Know it
Feel it
Sense it
Or care
But I do
I do
I’m sensitive
I’m empathetic
I’m a feeler
Years ago
I could
Drink to block
Your suffering out of my heart
Perfect drunken silliness
Was always the answer
When I was feeling too much
That is
No longer an option for me
Now
I must learn
I allow myself to feel it
I must learn
To let it pass through me
Without claiming me
I must learn
To turn you off
To save myself
If I withdrawal for a day
Or two
If I stay in bed sleeping
For a whole a day
Please understand
It’s my only recourse
It’s the only way
I can escape
And turn it all off
It’s the only way
For me to replenish
What the suffering
Around me depleted
As I move through
This life with new awareness
I must learn to be
A giver to myself
And selfishly take for myself
What others so often
Take away from me
Life calls me to
Learn to set limits
And enforce boundaries
Because
I know
You would take me
Down with you
If I let you
I won’t let you
Givers must set limits
Because takers rarely do
(C) 2016 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved

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Life Is Best When Lived Passionately

NOTE:
It’s been a heavy week. A very heavy week. Everywhere I turned I heard of a tragedy. Someone died, someone’s sick, someone lost everything and I am working on my own issues. As a “feeler”, it’s not easy to disconnect from what I sense. It just gets too much at times – way too much. I stayed in bed most of the day on Wednesday just because I needed silence – complete and total silence. It’s the only way for me to heal, disconnect and replenish. Years ago I would drink to escape; I can’t do that anymore so escape into silence is how I shut it all off. I am also struggling with remembering to set and enforce my boundaries. As a natural giver, I’ll give to my detriment. I guess the above poem is a collection of all of those thoughts.

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One Response to Givers And Takers

  1. basdenleco says:

    Transparent honesty, beautifully brilliant

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