Rescue me

  
People who are “sensitive” or are Empaths often have trouble being in places that are crowded, with bright lights and loud noises. The energy that is created in those environments can be overwhelming.

Last night I went to see Florida Georgia Line, Thomas Rhett & Frankie Ballard at Boardwalk Hall in Atlantic City, NJ with two of my nieces who are 31 & 32 years old. The concert was sold out and it was crazy crowded. I could feel anxiety growing inside of me all afternoon. I was moving through it and refusing to take Xanax. I was trying to use breath control to release the mounting anxiety. As the music started pounding so did my chest. The screaming, hollering and flashing lights – well, it damn near made me past out from my heart pounding out of my chest. My hands were shaking as I reached into the pill case in my purse to find Xanax.

In my head I went through scenarios as my chest pounded and my head spun. I didn’t tell my nieces anything. But, I was thinking, “what if I pass out? I don’t want to ruin the show for the girls. Should I leave? They are not good in a crisis. Where is the fucking Xanax?.” I found the Xanax. I remember a little trick my doctor taught me about breaking off a piece and putting it under my tongue to get it into the blood stream quicker. I slowly felt everything calm down and within15 – 20 minutes I was absolutely fine.

As I was watching the show I was thinking about what happened. I realized it has happened at least three times in similar situations. It happened last night. It happened last summer when I saw Darius Rucker at the Borgata and that night it hit just as the lights started flashing, people started screaming and music started pounding. And, it happened when I went to see Joel Osteen in Harrisburg. He was in a sold out Stadium. It was much like a rock concert.

In my younger years, I had these feelings too in some situations. But I assumed it was because I didn’t like large crowds. But, I started realizing it is not anxiety in the traditional sense. It’s over stimulation anxiety. My senses were over stimulated.  A lot of “sensitive/Empathetic people experience this. The emotions of the people surrounding me. The pounding music. The screaming. The strobing lights and being stuck in the middle of a long row with no easy way out. It was all too much for my senses.

My choices are to stay home and not participate in these types of events or I can do so knowing I’ll need Xanax to do it. I had a wonderful time my nieces last night. We made memories and enjoyed a night together away from the rest of family. I was glad I went and glad I had Xanax to rescue me. That’s why Xanax is called a rescue medicine. I’m not too proud to allow myself to be rescued while enjoying life with people I love.

Below are videos from country artists I saw last night. But, “Somewhere With You” by Kenny Chesney is still one of my favs😄👍❤️
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After finishing this post, I started thinking about how my heart was beating last night. I have a Congential Arrhythmia. It’s innocent but it can be triggered by lifestyle choices. It did feel like I was out of rhythm when it was happening. I googled it. There is some correlations to loud Bass to the electrial impulses of the heart. An arrhythmia is an electrical problem. It has nothing to do with structure, plaque, cholesterol or age. It electrical impulse issue. I have an appointment with my Cardiologist at Penn in Philly for an EKG & checkup on June 17th. I’ll ask him about loud bass sound at concerts and my arrhythmia. Because it makes sense to me. Xanax definitely leveled me out👍

Photo Credit

J

ean-Léon Gérôme 

http://www.tuttartpitturasculturapoesiamusica.com




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